So...this shit sucks.
I know, I know. Such blunt terminology lacks an eloquent punch but it sums up my internal angst better than any soliloquy of expressive verbage could. Growing accustomed to the monster that is Hollywood allowing me to successfully suckle off its teat for a few years makes it all that much more painful that the beast now bears its fangs at me and its syrupy milk has run dry. Dry points have been had before in my career but none like this since I was inexperienced and youthful. Now, along with millions of other Americans, I find my coffers filled with dust and my bills sent in red envelopes. The only people who call me are depressed, recent college graduates earning a minimum wage to hassle me about my unpaid debts. I can tell by their drab tone that this is a very busy and oppressive job right now. I pity them. At least they have gainful employment. Fuckers.
An opportunity to work with America's favorite freak family is in the works, but it seems to be run by people who don't have a care for keeping those they intend to employ in the loop. They've had me in for a series of interviews, even keeping me waiting in the lobby for three hours for one. They told me I was hired. I was supposed to start last week. So far...nothing. I shall strangle Tito just for the unbridled thrill of it. This shit sucks.
Two of my floor neighbors were mugged directly in front of my building. One with a knife, the other with what turned out to be a bb gun. I think crime is going to skyrocket in the city. Desperate times call for the disparately desperate to feed their needs and wants by any means necessary. Scary. Very. This shit sucks.
Every day on the news a new layer of gloom is oozing from the headlines. White and blue collar jobs are being slashed like teenagers' necks in a Friday the 13th flick. Unemployment filings are through the roof. People are literally killing themselves and their families to avoid debts. (Inept fools.) Stocks tumble. I bet being homeless right now is a real buzz kill, not that it ever seemed like a gas to me. Seriously, my change is not spare these days. Silver discs never looked so valuable. I bet these cats that usually scoff at pennies are gobbling them up like Pac-Man on a stoned binge right now. This shit sucks.
I've been forced to sell off several of my most prized possessions. My XL1 camera...gone. My MPC4000 drum machine...going on Ebay today. While I hate to lose these material items, the truth is they can be replaced and most likely will be when this dry spell has been pissed upon with a golden shower of opportunities. Ironically, my screenplay is still close to getting a solid start date for production, so while I weather this storm a bright, warming sunlight exists past the edge of the horizon. The problem is, I just can't see it right now. I know it's there, but this storm is really getting me all sorts of cold and wet. Daddy needs a tan. And a Mojito. This shit sucks.
So the moral of this story is...this shit sucks. No...I suppose it's grin and bear it. And find the beauty in your life. The love of my life, the most incredible person I've ever met, the apple of my eye, the person I've always imagined when I lay awake at night and wonder if there is somebody out there for me...this girl, she has been there with me this whole time. Despite the difficulty of this situation, she has agreed to persevere. It may have been difficult at times for her to remain with me, but she has. The irony is she has fulfilled me in a way I've never felt before despite my situation. Without her, there would be no sun. She is the reason I rise, the reason I keep faith. She is the kick in the ass I need from time to time. She is what motivates me to climb out from this shit hole and build myself back from rising debts.
So that's my blog for today. While I usually to prefer to make my people giggle, today I come with a gloomy exterior but I resolve to make my life better. It is because of my woman, because failure is not an option, and because I'm too god damned talented and able to not be running this shit by now. Wish me luck. Maybe...just maybe...this shit doesn't suck so bad.
