The Best Cheeseburger in Los Angeles #1

So LA is known as a burger haven. A place where worthy cows have their flesh ground up into a pulp and served between typically enriched buns. I can tell you this; it is true. LA has a handle on cow sandwiches unlike any other place in the world...as far as I can tell. I think its a holdover from the old LA we hear about, a place that sounds way more bitching than the self centered yuppie haven this city has become. Don't get me wrong. I love LA, I even having a T-shirt proclaiming it unabashedly...just some of the populus here deserve to be done like Salem Witches. I'm a healthy dude and all, but some of these people need to put down their macrobiotic bullshit and grub down on some poorly handled beast flesh. There is something glorious and primal about a pimp cheese burger, all dripping with saturated fat and gooey cheese and blood red ketchup and flubbery, goopy, yellowish mayonnaise. I love them. With all my stomach.

I therefore do declare that I will commence...

The Great Los Angeles Burger Challenge.

I am quite well versed in the world of cheeseburgers in this great city, so I will make a point of posting an article from time to time on a new burger spot that I've tried. I will include it into a ranked list and shift it accordingly as new spots come into my consciousness. I will include photos when I'm not too drunk to deal. I've eaten several of these spots already and have an opinion, but will start this project with a clean slate. Feel free to advise me on spots I need to include. For now, these are the tentative spots I will come to rank in the coming months. This list will grow as my knowledge expands.

• Cassell's - A legendary spot in Korea town. I've fucked this shit up before. Its definitely worth fucking.
  
• Father's Office - The Santa Monica favorite. Sloppy, wet, expensive.
  
• The Pantry - Don't know shit about it. Will soon.
• Hinano's Beer and Burgers - Down near the Venice Strand, this is a dive bar that smells like shit and is chock full of douche bags that will extol the virtues of their friendship with Bradley Nowell while drooling on their Dickies. Incredibly, their burgers are god damned primo.
  
• Apple Pan - Old school Westwood shit. Saw John Wooden there once. They put apple sauce on their burgers. Gross. Make sure you say no apple sauce.
  
• Fat Burger - I know. Everybody knows it. It still kicks ass. Has to be on the list.
  
• Pete's - My girlfriend's favorite spot. Downtown pub burger. Real tasty. I don't want to concede she has better burger knowledge than me though. Not yet.
• The Counter - A co-worker on Ass Fucking World Championships recommended this spot. I know shit all about it.
  
• Hawkin's House of Burgers - A Watts classic. These burgers cost twenty bucks in the heart of the hood, have a pile of pastrami and a pound of bacon and the patties alone total two pounds or some shit. This is the burger I'm most excited about. This is where I'll start my adventure. Plus, I get to go to Watts and check out the crack spots!

Hell yeah. The Great Los Angeles Burger Challenge is on like Donkey Kong.